revised paragraph 1

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*** NOTE: THIS IS FROM THE SAME PAPER YOU WROTE LAST WEEK, I WILL PROVDE YOU THE FEEDBACK”

Part 1: You will want to choose a paragraph that includes a quotation. Review any feedback you received on it. Revise accordingly. For example, you may have to shorten a quotation or use a stronger signal phrase. You may have to move the quotation to a different place in the paragraph.

Per the information provided in the reading for Week 7, look carefully at the quotation to identify key words in it that you can use in a paraphrase of the quotation. Part of your revision should include revision where you include paraphrase and use of the key word.

Post your revised paragraph here. To help set the context for your paragraph, post your thesis statement.

Include a note explaining your revision process: what you revised and why, including how you revised the quotation. If you do not have any quoted material in the paragraph, post a quotation and a revision as a separate paragraph.

As you’re revising your paragraphs for content, consider the comments you received on Paper 1 for the development of your paragraphs. Consider how that feedback may apply to Paper 2. For instance, if you received a notation about stronger development, be sure to review Paper 2 for any areas that may need stronger development. Or if you received feedback that your topic sentences could be stronger, make sure that the topic sentences are clearly stated in Paper 2.

Part 2: You also will need to write a conclusion for your paper this week. Review the material on conclusions in Week 4, and any comments you may have received on your conclusion in Paper 1. Look for ways to revise the conclusion from Paper 1 to match your newly developed Paper 2. You can post your conclusion in your discussion posting to receive feedback on it.

When you post your paragraph, please also post the thesis of your paper.

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